Bookies

I insisted on saving my money on most things but today my aunt dropped me off at a local bookstore and pretty much a tenth of my money went kaput. …Even if what I bought was on bargain :|

So, a list of purchases (which I think I’ll just update as my trip rolls along)

  • The Best American Comics 2008 (a steal at $7.98 from $22)
  • The Lifespan of a Fact – John D’Agata & Jim Fingal
  • The Selected Poetry of Yehuda Amichai
  • Mucha – Rene Ulmer
  • The Arabian Nights (with illustrations!)
  • The Divine Comedy – Dante “Oh Beatrice!” Alighieri, tr. Henry Longfellow (with illustrations by Gustave Dore)
  • The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet – Reif Larsen

And the entire time I was buying these no way did I remember how little shelf space I had left at home. x___x

Rest in Peace, dear sir.

What the news said yesterday.

I was one of those kids who actually got into the wild rumpus late- as in, really late. My first encounter with Sendak’s work was in (get this-) third year college when my philosophy professor at that time, read out Where The Wild Things Are to our class. Yep.

Well, dear sir, I’m sure you’re in a wonderful, wild place now.

I saw this .gif set just now from the Tumblr-folk and it made me smile. Hehe.

Other stuff, or, my reading list right now:

The muse who put the “used” in amused-

Useless List* of “Muses”. Sort of.

  • 01: Name resembles a shade of the water. Was a childhood friend from church. Twice my age, then (so what?) Owned a store selling soup. Grew apart (what these things are for).
  • 03: Skeletal. One of the smartest people I knew. Thin fingers and a piano. Umbrellas, books, and framed glasses.
  • 02 & 04: Forgettable – save for the fact how both were destructive (one more so than the other). One returned as a friend, following a long period of misfired revenge plots and attempts to engage vultures, etc. The other, out of sight, has his bones breaking from too much effort, or some other reason (last I heard from a friend of a friend).
  • 05: Uninteresting, eventually. A failure (the person, and perhaps the relationship as well) by choice. Quite civil, no longer chummy.
  • 05.5: Whom I know not to go to when the world turns bleak.
  • 06: The Quietest Boy.
  • 06.5: Weak. Also: What a waste those weeks were.
  • 07: The Boy Most Likely (to: a.) burn a building, b.) kill himself, c.) kill someone else, d.) set everything on fire, e.) disappear)
  • 08: Smiles bright as the sun, feels sad only if out of food. Assessment so far: Strange.

Currently: Keeping a safe distance for my own good.

*Save for 05.5, all have names made of two syllables. Hmm.

Life-related: I haven’t really been ~writing~ since a.) I’ve been working on some illustration deadlines (yay, art!) and, b.) I’ve mostly been busy attending to this little fiend named Scaramouche (I call her Mumu for short):

 

I love this Fattybutt monster to bits.

Also: the most interesting thing I’ve read all day. Be warned though, it’s got some heavy stuff. One secret grossed me out real bad (well, my fault for reading it while eating dinner). And I’m the type of girl who can eat a sandwich beside a cadaver. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Two poems that made me smile

Monet Refuses the Operation
Lisel Mueller

Doctor, you say that there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris
and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction.
I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don’t see,
to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,
and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,
the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers.
What can I say to convince you
the Houses of Parliament dissolve
night after night to become
the fluid dream of the Thames?
I will not return to a universe
of objects that don’t know each other,
as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent.  The world
is flux, and light becomes what it touches,
becomes water, lilies on water,
above and below water,
becomes lilac and mauve and yellow
and white and cerulean lamps,
small fists passing sunlight
so quickly to one another
that it would take long, streaming hair
inside my brush to catch it.
To paint the speed of light!
Our weighted shapes, these verticals,
burn to mix with air
and changes our bones, skin, clothes
to gases.  Doctor,
if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms
and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.

 

She Does Not Remember
Anna Swir

She was an evil stepmother.
In her old age she is slowly dying
in an empty hovel.

She shudders
like a clutch of burnt paper.
She does not remember that she was evil.
But she knows
that she feels cold.

Translated from the Polish by Czeslaw Milosz and Leonard Nathan

 

Continue reading

Relevance & Snail Mail Fail

Or, because this is a nice blog to read while trying to revise.

Was also reading Pavlova awhile back and though I don’t agree with everything she says, I really like that bit about Yuri Gagarin. And this: Not to envy others is easy. It is difficult not to feel pleased when they envy you.

Progress report: one poem (still) scares me, another makes me want to kick myself in the (nonexistent) nads, and another I’ve tried practicing reading out loud. Productivity level was inversely proportional to yesterday’s.

Life report: Right now, very upset. 1.) Poet I used to idolize turned out to be a shoddy shod (don’t bother asking who or what or why) + really awkward feelings for someone I know following a recent revelation (no, no attraction. Just a teensy level of disgust and maybe a lot of resentment. Which is weird). 2.) Long letter I sent to my friend via snail mail did a Houdini and said friend received it WITH NO WRITING. And that, dear everyone, is why you should NEVER EVER EVER EVER USE ERASABLE INK when writing a Really Important Letter (the contents of which, since it was written a month ago, escapes my overused memory banks). I feel really bad about this since said erasable pen never failed me up until this point. My friend tried all means to decipher it (“heat on the stove, craypas, pencil, pastel, eraser”). Yes, I know, there’s the internet, why bother with snail mail, right? I don’t know. I’m sentimental that way. I like giving people I really care about something they can keep and hold. Something there. Not something dependent on the battery life of a laptop or the kerning of a font.

it seems almost as if you gave yourself / to those desires too

Body, Remember
Constantine Cavafy

Body, remember not only how much you were loved,
not only the beds you lay on,
but also those desires that glowed openly
in eyes that looked at you,
trembled for you in their voices –
only some chance obstacle frustrated them.
Now that it’s all finally in the past,
it seems almost as if you gave yourself
to those desire too – how they glowed,
remember, in eyes that looked at you,
remember, body, how they trembled for you in those voices.
Translated from the Greek by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard

Which books to buy?

Hello, hello!

I’ll be going to the US in a month or so and I plan to hit up The Strand during that trip (actually, to be specific, I begged my mother to let me off for just one day all by myself to scuttle around that area- a friend of mine based in NYC might help me out too).

Anyhoo, this post actually needs replies.

Recommend me books I could get from the US which I’m very unlikely to get here, please?

If you can pinpoint specific places in Washington, Virginia, and New York where I could get them cheap, that would be awesome too. I’m also interested in which of Forche, Szymborska, Kaminsky, and Ashberry’s books are palatable enough. I don’t know, just recommend me stuff. Yay.

Early morning reading list

I set out to write poems today. But, like yesterday, nothing (so far). Actually, there would have been something if I actually didn’t keep hitting “delete” over and over and over. Something about this topic frightens me (and it’s not even a daunting topic, really! But I have to get through this somehow if ends are to meet grrrr). Or maybe lately I’ve learned to distrust (fear?) my own words (hence, more writing done in the personal journal that for the past few months has functioned as a paperweight around the house). I don’t know, I don’t know.

So. To be productive, I just annotated some stuff from Rilke’s Letters To A Young Poet (I have a compulsive tendency to make notes).

Here’s something from it: To walk inside yourself & meet no one for hours- that is what you must be able to attain.

Given: I am determined to avoid some (if not most) people until I accomplish what I set out to do (it IS my last summer after all. And given how I’ve been mostly disappointed with myself and how little I’ve been accomplishing lately… I figure this plan of action is in order).

Right now I am reading these- both by Rachel Zucker- while waiting for a poem to kick in (if not, there’s always tomorrow. But I kind of want to ram my head to a wall now, for not being productive enough):