He gave her a nice cat.
He saved her a rice cat.
He shaved her an ice hat.
He shoved her a bat.
He showed her a gnat.
He owed her a nut.
He mowed her a nut.
He mowed her, but-
She smoked a butt.
She choked on that.
….I don’t even know what a rice cat is.
Playing around, because Things I Want To Happen aren’t happening. This is better than brewing a shitstorm or throwing a fit. Bah, universe, bah! You’re not going to stop me.