Love Letter

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Hey you,

It’s a lie if I said I haven’t been writing. Another lie: as if the previous year in all its shambles meant nothing to me. It has, always, except, as you know prior to our parting: I am surrounded by circumstances that prevent me from completely facing this, the entire story admixed and diluted between all the work needed to be done to pursue an agreeable future. “Keeping going” and “Be strong”, harped sage advice and common sense. And so I did: took whatever was left of this heart and kept sloughing forward – day after day I kept on: each new experience a means to distract and relieve from the last. I changed, mostly from necessity to forgive myself rather than the actual desire to differ. The few friends I kept close immediately took to notice: B, friend since forever the only person to ever pick up at 3am, usually says how I’m living THE life and I’m not really sure what this means; F periodically reminds me to make time for myself; P – Best In Conviction and Moral Compass – threatened to end our friendship if I continued carrying out a toxic endeavor. D I only ever see in conventions or over beer; N took me in her house like a little orphan a few times; M promises to visit but never does; 2 friends got married, another gave birth – T told me one time how you asked about me a few months ago. I don’t suppose we’re still close enough to exchange details of our lives but I remember how you always talked about the risks we take and I suppose I took a few risks here and there – some yielding earthquakes and others collisions: all the same, I am here doing what I set out to do and on some days I suppose I miss you, I miss us – the fulcrum on which I used to think my world once stood – but I miss everything less and less as each day folds into the future.

I hope you are well.

Always,
A

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despite everything

you get your dreams for a while. you build them.

the world deals you cards you never, ever expected. you find yourself turning into someone else. hurting someone you thought you loved – so much, so very much.

how do you find it to forgive yourself?
how do you find it to get up the next day?

and you miss it all. you miss what it meant, what it could have been.
but that was then. this is now. now what? where do we begin?

Art for sale

Hi friends! I’ll be selling stuff (i.e., postcards and bookmarks) at ‪#‎BLTX‬ Cubao!  🙂

It would be super awesome if you guys could drop by & show support & love.

Postcard sizes range from ~4.1×5.8 inches to 5 x7 inches, price ranges from 60-100 each. The bookmarks are a steal at 10-20 pesos! 😀 Individual prices are in the images’ captions.
I only printed 6 copies per design – please leave a comment if you wanna pre-order or send an email over at alyza.taguilaso@gmail.com. Pick-up is at BLTX.

I’ll also be releasing my first poetry chapbook… stay tuned 🙂

BLTX9 / BETTER LIVING THROUGH XEROXOGRAPHY:
a small press/DIY expo

Venue: Ilyong’s Project 4, Cubao
Date: Dec 4, Friday
Time: 6 pm to sawa

FIRST 100 BOTTLES OF BEER FREE

Events page: https://www.facebook.com/events/627282450707891/

Happening elsewhere simultaneously
BLTX Baguio Cafe Yagam
BLTX Davao Sales Bar Tekanplor

Beginnings

Hey there. Been a while.

Just three things:

  1. I’m finally a licensed physician (yay, after 100million years)
  2. I’ve been spending time applying to certain hospitals for residency in General Surgery
  3. Free time has been spent making works for my first chapbook

Schizoballistic #rainbow state of mind. #PLE2015 slinkies for sanity hrhrhr. #gpoy #stuff

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SA WAKAS #PLE2015

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Hiatus

Hello! I realize, again, that I’ve been leaving this space of the interwebs in limbo for a bit. Reason’s really simple: I’ll be taking the Physician Licensure Exams this August.

Overall, it’s terrifying. The thought and the process (considering I’ve never taken a board exam before). Sacrificed writing and painting so I can slough through 12 subjects (hopefully 3-4 readings each time).

Tomorrow I’m going to start with cycle 2 of readings, and I’m typing this because it’s my dinner break. I usually wake up 6:30 or 7 in the morning and study until 12 midnight. Lunch & dinner breaks happen for an hour each.

I still make small time for Getting a Life (i.e., meeting a friend, exercising, watching a movie, etc) but those usually mean I have to activate Turbo Mode.

Anyway. That’s all from this patch of the universe.